I'm really a lousy security guard... Oops, I mean a lousy security officer. Tonight, some homeless guy with apparent mental issues starting rifling through the restaurant trash bins in front of the building's loading dock. Policy says I should so whatever I can to stop him and get him to remove himself from the premises. I asked him once, and in the end I even gave him a dollar. He was just a hungry man looking for scraps to eat. And he did the one thing I asked him to do, not to make a mess. Jim the Younger would tell me that I am a wuss. It's probably true. The worst thing must be that I don't feel too bad about, just generally mystified. I'd like to think it's compassion, and start preening myself about how good a person I am. But, it's what the Dalai Lama would call "relative compassion," compassion rooted in negative sources. Guilt, in my case. I understand I've led a selfish life. I've taken a lot from this world, but I've given back very little. The only comfort is I have a lot of company. But then, to choose to seek even relative compassion, or so the Dalai Lama says, if the first step. We all start out from the self. Or I could just be a really big wuss. Feh.