Today, also, I can proudly declare my freedom from a truly haunting presence in my life, something nearly unspeakable that I have had to confront nearly daily for the last few weeks. It's gone now and I breathe easier. Someone removed or ripped down the flyer for "Queer Mime Gardening and Entertainment" from the telephone pole that I must pass just before the bus stop I catch to go to work, and the grocery store where I buy my casual amenities. The flyer adorned with a photo of a Marcel Marceau wannabe badly miming fear about a laughably Faustian, who is about as frightening as fresh Tapioca pudding, stared at me day after day and taunted me with the terror of sheer tackiness. Let's examine this closer by dissecting "Queer Mime Gardening and Entertainment." Surely, no problem with Queer. I'm Queer. Nothing wrong there. Now combine this with Mime. Mimes.... what can be said about Mimes.. Death. Death to all Mimes. Maybe not Shields and Yarnell. Childhood thing. Where was I? Yes... death to all mimes. It's like what happens when clowns get theatrical pretensions. Clowns are funny. Mimes aren't. They are unsettling. And here are two gay amateurs.. who do not just Entertain. But Garden. Garden? What? They come over and mime weeding your flowerbeds or mime mowing your lawn? Does this mean you can mime paying them whatever probably large pay they want? Entertainment. If you have a tea party of a birthday party where you have mimes as entertainment, you get whatever you deserve.
Why didn't I just ignore the flyer, you might ask? I wish I could have. But everytime I passed that telephone, there were those two white-face ninnies frozen in that same ridiculous photo... pulled by some powerful magnetic force, I had to look. And look. And look. Queer Mimes!! Queer Mimes!!!
Thankfully they are gone now. I breathe easier, and read my book untroubled at the bus stop. I gain one comfort from this whole affair. The whole time the flyer was up, not a single tear-away phone contact tab along the bottom of the page was ever taken. It restores my hope for humanity.