I was late by an hour to work today. I set my alarm clock wrongly. The old PM instead of AM goof. I'm getting more distracted as the full impact of where I am in my life sets in. Either that, or I just have my head that far up my ass that I need to put glasses on my penis to see what I'm doing.
Had a great weekend. The "other woman" of the house, or H, as I will call her in my journal, invited me to visit the house that her primary/husband (who we will call M, even though, I could call him the "other Jew,) bought in the sticks. Ten acres in the agrarian wilderness just beyond Seattle. I'm not usually one for living in the countryside, but the house is lovely, and the relative solitude gave me a needed respite from the city and the House. Most of it was just relaxing. Seeing the property. Helping clear the path down to the creek, I got to swing a machete, and therefore fulfilled my machismo clause in my biological male contract for a few months. I whacked a thistle, and sparks rose from a rock beneath. I had brought the blade down on a soft and flinty bit of chirt, which I sliced rather cleanly into three parts. They decorate the rustic house now. I got a chance to talk with H, who I know the least of all my housemates, and gained a greater affinity for M. I was "away" for a night and a day. H took the longer ways back. I got to walk across the cable suspension bridge over a mountain river after eating chocolate-dipped donuts. It poured rain some. Oh, and M's dog, the terror of children, didn't eat me, or even chew on me any.
What was really great, and had been desperately necessary, was that I got to see stars. It was an unusually clear night that I spent over, and I turned off the lights after H and M retired upstairs before going out on the deck to just look up. It wasn't as majestic as if I was out in the High Desert of Southern California.. or deeper anyplace from light pollution, but I could see the celestial light show more clearly than I have in a number of years. The stars offer perspective. Makes a philosophical human feel amazingly less important and fills the soul with the absurdity of being infintesimal before the infinite. How can God be picking on me if, he/she/they/it are running this big a machine.. if it is actively run? It reminds me that I'm on my own, and that's the way it was meant to be. If I have a purpose in this whole shebang, it isn't for the Prime Mover to endow onto me, it is for me to discover and establish it.
Had a great weekend. The "other woman" of the house, or H, as I will call her in my journal, invited me to visit the house that her primary/husband (who we will call M, even though, I could call him the "other Jew,) bought in the sticks. Ten acres in the agrarian wilderness just beyond Seattle. I'm not usually one for living in the countryside, but the house is lovely, and the relative solitude gave me a needed respite from the city and the House. Most of it was just relaxing. Seeing the property. Helping clear the path down to the creek, I got to swing a machete, and therefore fulfilled my machismo clause in my biological male contract for a few months. I whacked a thistle, and sparks rose from a rock beneath. I had brought the blade down on a soft and flinty bit of chirt, which I sliced rather cleanly into three parts. They decorate the rustic house now. I got a chance to talk with H, who I know the least of all my housemates, and gained a greater affinity for M. I was "away" for a night and a day. H took the longer ways back. I got to walk across the cable suspension bridge over a mountain river after eating chocolate-dipped donuts. It poured rain some. Oh, and M's dog, the terror of children, didn't eat me, or even chew on me any.
What was really great, and had been desperately necessary, was that I got to see stars. It was an unusually clear night that I spent over, and I turned off the lights after H and M retired upstairs before going out on the deck to just look up. It wasn't as majestic as if I was out in the High Desert of Southern California.. or deeper anyplace from light pollution, but I could see the celestial light show more clearly than I have in a number of years. The stars offer perspective. Makes a philosophical human feel amazingly less important and fills the soul with the absurdity of being infintesimal before the infinite. How can God be picking on me if, he/she/they/it are running this big a machine.. if it is actively run? It reminds me that I'm on my own, and that's the way it was meant to be. If I have a purpose in this whole shebang, it isn't for the Prime Mover to endow onto me, it is for me to discover and establish it.
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