As I keep working around my neural blocks, and directly confronting my conditional responses, it is playing holy hell with my energy levels, as this week will attest. Twice, I got really angry for no good reason, got it in check, and nearly collapsed afterward. Literally. My knees buckled when I had to slam down being pissed over work, since I have the least amount of control over that five-ton sack of bullshit. And once I did pass out, somewhat. After coming home from work on Wednesday, I got myself riled up with some defiant musical selections, and one hour after arriving home, I fell onto my bed and slept for three hours. And this is still early in the game. If I owned any chainsaws, I would have locked them up by now. Otherwise, I've found I'm alot more in a positive flow than I have been of late. I put up an add for fellow head travellers in craigslist in hope to get a better dialogue going. The big thing I am pondering is looking for a solo space for a soon weekend, and maybe fast and go off the grid, as the expression goes. Much as I love living in this communal house, I miss the opportunity for solitude. I am still very bummed about not being able to do the sense dep, so I am considering other angles.
I'm bordering on current events burnout again, as I just can't take in the cyclical failure of humanity to understand perspective. Look at the space shuttle. The news is ablaze with American Pride that we managed to launch the US orbital Edsel without too much of it falling off, and NASA neurosis runs rampant. The US gets a craft to the International Space Station for the first time in two years, which is a year later than the station mattered. Manned space ventures have become utterly political, while small robots do some nice work, but the Hubble waits for someone to load another quarter into the slot for fifteen more minutes viewing. Its all about the spectacle, while whatever true gains humanity can gain from frontierism is lost. I know the ocean is considered a frontier too, but the sea will be a wet desert of life before we figure out what it means. So we might as well forget physical frontiers as a challenge to push human development for least a half-century. I have a feeling the first manned mission to Mars will be sponsored by Nokia and Pepsi One. I think all this waste of literal space is just an extension of the Establishment grasping desperately to hold on to a changing world. Space travel is only useful as a trophy on the mantlepiece, and anything else might reach further than those who define the boundaries of the political world feel they can control. Sad. Very Sad.
No wonder that humanity has pretty much mined out the gold of the past, and is left polishing what is really iron pyrite. So much of the world's conflict seems to be the recent past vs. the ancient past, with nobody realizing the past in any form is dead. That's what tradition is, really, badly frozen time, not stored or perserved, the ice crystals of the present invade the body of the memory and burst all living cells, to make room. What pisses me off so much about nostalgia expressed through fashion and media, is that whatever feeling defined that social moment is so long dead, that nothing is left but the false hope of substance. When I was much younger, I did do the Society for Creative Anachronism, but it was more an excuse to camp out and do some underage drinking. I mean, come on, I'm a Jew. Being Jewish in the past just plained sucked. Nobody wanted the Jews around for long, and if they did it was to do the economic crap they thought was below them. Jews never really had glory days, just times when we weren't being invaded and massacred as much as usual. How can you find any potential in the past? Whatever potential was expended to the kinetic, so that more potential could be stored for the present and future.
I think I will finish my beer.
I'm bordering on current events burnout again, as I just can't take in the cyclical failure of humanity to understand perspective. Look at the space shuttle. The news is ablaze with American Pride that we managed to launch the US orbital Edsel without too much of it falling off, and NASA neurosis runs rampant. The US gets a craft to the International Space Station for the first time in two years, which is a year later than the station mattered. Manned space ventures have become utterly political, while small robots do some nice work, but the Hubble waits for someone to load another quarter into the slot for fifteen more minutes viewing. Its all about the spectacle, while whatever true gains humanity can gain from frontierism is lost. I know the ocean is considered a frontier too, but the sea will be a wet desert of life before we figure out what it means. So we might as well forget physical frontiers as a challenge to push human development for least a half-century. I have a feeling the first manned mission to Mars will be sponsored by Nokia and Pepsi One. I think all this waste of literal space is just an extension of the Establishment grasping desperately to hold on to a changing world. Space travel is only useful as a trophy on the mantlepiece, and anything else might reach further than those who define the boundaries of the political world feel they can control. Sad. Very Sad.
No wonder that humanity has pretty much mined out the gold of the past, and is left polishing what is really iron pyrite. So much of the world's conflict seems to be the recent past vs. the ancient past, with nobody realizing the past in any form is dead. That's what tradition is, really, badly frozen time, not stored or perserved, the ice crystals of the present invade the body of the memory and burst all living cells, to make room. What pisses me off so much about nostalgia expressed through fashion and media, is that whatever feeling defined that social moment is so long dead, that nothing is left but the false hope of substance. When I was much younger, I did do the Society for Creative Anachronism, but it was more an excuse to camp out and do some underage drinking. I mean, come on, I'm a Jew. Being Jewish in the past just plained sucked. Nobody wanted the Jews around for long, and if they did it was to do the economic crap they thought was below them. Jews never really had glory days, just times when we weren't being invaded and massacred as much as usual. How can you find any potential in the past? Whatever potential was expended to the kinetic, so that more potential could be stored for the present and future.
I think I will finish my beer.
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